So I've decided to dip my toes in to the sea of dating again.
It's amazing! I've had at least 60 men wanting to get to know me. I'm being mindful of the fact that some of them aren't genuine.
Having had my diagnosis of Bipolar it's made me very cautious of fraudsters and con artists.
My bipolar seems to be stable at the moment.
I will keep you all updated as to what's going on in my life.
Hi to everyone who reads my blog or watches my YouTube videos.
I've had a rough couple of weeks stabilising my bipolar but it seems I'm almost at the top of this particular mountain.
I'm in a much better place with the help of my family, friends and the care team I'm under.
I'm now living on my own as my husband and I agreed to a separation. We are still good friends after all the things that have happened.
I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact I will never be well enough to go back to work with the arthritis and the suspected Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.
I've spoken before about this very little known rare genetic disorder.
The 15th of May cant come soon enough. I'm back to rehearsing my singing and have uploaded some videos of me singing.
I'm now 6 months free from smoking and losing weight by myself without medical help.
I'm having more and more OK days and I'm happy with that.
As some of you know by reading my blog that I've had some horrible experiences with side effects with my meds.
I had a meeting with a consultant psychiatrist who has given me a great medication that's now counteracting the horrible side effects of haloperidol. It's called procyclidine
I can now type properly. Hold a good conversation with my family and just feel generally calmer.
I cannot tell you in words how much better I feel already and I'm only one dose in.
Today started off being a terrible day but I'm finishing the day on a better note.
Finally really starting to get the old Rachael back which is what I've wanted since leaving hospital.
It's going to be ok now in my own mind and my own body I now feel like I can just carry on being this way as this is what a normal day for me should feel like.
So I'm having a bad day with side effects from the medication they've got me on for the bipolar.
I've been out today on my own to a meeting at the job centre to sort out a claim for universal credit.
It took all the strength I had just to walk through the door. But I managed it by myself.
I've got another meeting tomorrow with my care coordinator and mental health team.
Today is just a bump in the road. I'll be resting up the rest of today.
So I now know I'm getting my life back. I'm able to do a little light housework on a daily basis.
Finally getting my life back after having a husband who wouldn't allow me to do much around the house due to pain and fatigue.
I do miss him as a friend but realise now how much of my independence had gone.
Giving up work was the best thing I have done for my quality of life. I now have more energy to just do day to day tasks. Even if it's only just putting the Hoover around or doing the dishes.
My bipolar seems to be under control with the new medications.
So finally the new tablets are really beginning to work.
I like feeling Normal for a change.
Those of you without bipolar or a chronic disease wouldn't really understand how good it is to just feel like you're having a normal day.
I will keep up these posts and video diaries because it keeps me positive and aware that I can have normal days like everyone else.
That's it for today
So today I decided to have a ME day.
I've cleaned the bathroom which may not sound alot but with my pain levels and the Ehlers danlos just getting out of bed some days is an achievement.
The new tablets they've given me to counteract the side effects of the haloperidol seem to be working.
So heres to hoping I can do a little more tomorrow but I'm not going to punish myself if I cant do too much at once. I will get this flat straight with help from my family and friends.
Heres hoping for another normal feeling day tomorrow. The more I have the more I'm convinced I can have a normal kind of life again.
