Flashbacks of bipolar mania

Went to a bipolar class today and met some other people local to me who have bipolar.

It's interesting how similar our manic episodes actually are.

I felt like I was in some reality TV show where someone had reprogrammed my brain somehow.

I also had posted a video on Facebook thinking I was in my own zombie apocalypse. That's when I knew I really needed help from the professionals.

I look back on it now and laugh but at the time it was so real to me and must have been scary for my friends and family around me.

I'm going to be going to a local support group next month.

Until then I'm going to research my condition as much as I can in the hope that one day I might be able to become an advocate for others with the disorder.

An ok day with bipolar

So today is the first day in a few months where I've felt Normal.

Having an ok day is actually a good thing.

I'm neither up nor down.

I hope to have many more days like today when I just have an OK day

Historical Sexual abuse case

So I cant seem to find my original post about my families traumatic past.

Let me first say this My family and I have mended our bridges and are now reunited after my last hospitalisation.

30 years ago my parents made a selfless decision to give a home to a troubled young man.

Now what they didnt know was he was a known predator and social services were completely aware of this particular young mans past.

For a number of years he stayed with my family. Unfortunately he turned his attentions to my sister and I.

Unfortunately he was a sexual predator and raped and abused myself and my little sister.

This has led to me having a very turbulent mental health situation throughout my teenage and adult years.

He was removed from our house as my sister had alerted my parents to what he had been doing. Because my parents thought we had been through enough they chose not to have us examined by a police surgeon.

This decision left us in a position that social services just dropped my family with absolutely no support and 2 severely traumatised children.

30 years on I took part in an independant enquiry in to social service failings. I get a phone call from the police who are now 30 years on conducting the enquiry that should have happened then.

The only thing is now social services are being difficult with coming up with the records. But I will not let this stop me. Because once the criminal side has been dealt with I fully intend to take a civil case out against them.

So that's where the case is up to at the moment

Good day today with Bipolar

So today has been a more productive day. I've been out for an early breakfast in the park.

I went to a very close family friends for a coffee and catch up. Held her beautiful snakes.

We then went to lunch in town and did a bit of shopping.
I've decided to do a vlog alongside this blog now.

I'm now resting with my beautiful cats on the sofa watching TV shows thinking that a take away would be nice for tea.

Just got to take each day as it comes from now on.

But today's been a good day

Living with Bipolar

So I thought I would feel better having a diagnosis. But I'm a ball of knotted up emotions.

Scared that family or friends can section me at any minute not that I think they would unless they had good reason to.

Crisis team came to visit today and I got tearful. Scared of the future. Suddenly feeling so alone as no one I know has bipolar.

I know I shouldnt be scared but being in a mental hospital does that to you.

One day at a time and one battle at a time.

Getting back to some kind of normal life is first on my agenda. Spending time with friends and family.

Home for good

So I've been formally discharged from hospital.

I cant believe the difference in treatment. One unit had no idea what was wrong with me and treated me so badly I'm still hurting even now.

This other hospital treated me with dignity and finally gave me a diagnosis. Bipolar spectrum disorder.

Something I've more than likely had since I was a teenager.

I've never felt better in years but taking each day slowly so I dont relapse.

I still cant believe that mental health in the UK is still treated so badly and such a shortage of beds in the country.

I'm still waiting to hear about my historical abuse case but once the criminal case has concluded I fully intend to bring a civil case against social services as the abuse has been the biggest contributor to my bipolar spectrum disorder.

Today has been a good day. Just one day at a time so far.

Home on leave

So I'm home on leave from hospital finally.

Got to see my precious cats and to find out I've lost my job.

Not a huge surprise as two admissions to mental health hospitals in the past two months kind of makes you a little unreliable.

Doesn't matter that I work for a disability charity and given nearly 20 years of my life to caring for those with learning disabilities and complex mental health issues.

Also the fact that my boss thought a hot kitchen was a safe environment for a known epileptic to work was a tad short sighted.

I have highlighted and blown the whistle on failures in the care system. Especially with in mental health and the severely poor treatment I received in a British Mental Health Facility in the UK where my physical needs were totally disregarded by those in charge of my care.

I will be fully discharged from the service yet again but at least this time I was actually treated with the respect and dignity I deserved this time.

The UK social care as a whole is a complete and utter shambles and feel it necessary to keep bringing it up till it changes