The 5 stages of grief

We are all familiar with the model of the five stages of grief.
(1) DENILE
(2) ANGER
(3) BARGAINING
(4) DEPRESSION
(5) ACCEPTANCE

Well I'm in the inbetween stage of 4 and 5

Today so far has been such a rollercoaster ride I actually have no clue which way is up.

So to steady myself I've gone back to the coping mechanisms I used in the mental health unit when I got overwhelmed. I shut out the stimulus using music and sitting in the garden away from others.

This technique really works for me and gives a clear signal to those around me that I'm not prepared to engage until I'm calmer.

I've done this at home and so far so good.Unfortunately though I also spent time crying. Crying for the family I have to let go so I can follow my own true path.

I'm hoping one day they might join me without judgement. But they've got their own grief to deal with over what's been done to me throughout my life and especially in the last few weeks.

My husband is moving away which is actually a good thing for both of us as I need space away from the chains of my old life.

Im not closing the door. Just inviting them to heal themselves first before trying to help me. I've got this. I always did. And I always will. I just lost sight of myself to help others on their path in life.

Sometimes it's good to just walk alone for a while. Gives your mind clarity so you can re engage with those who love you without condition.